It was very hard to make the choice to move (I had my house on and off the market for about 2 years) but I saw a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  To sell my house (yes…at a big markdown because of the housing market collapse) and convert the remaining equity to a home that would satisfy my needs for another decade.

As a self-employed person, it was almost impossible to get a mortgage (just as it is impossible as a small business owner to grow a business other than self-financed and organically in this bank-driven market).  I can personally say that the banks have the money and don’t want to lend money, even to those that can prove they can repay their debt.  But I found the one bank and loan officer that were willing (and excited) to partner with me.

The conversion from one home to another will only increase my monthly outlay by a small bit, and one that I can shoulder, even if the economy recedes a bit. So that was the financial challenge.

The process of moving, both financially and emotionally, so greatly parallel the political arena that I am compelled to make the comparison.  In order to get the credit, my past laurels didn’t count.  I had to show I could repay debt in a way that the banks would accept.  That was tough.  Virtually impossible and required leveraging  every possible opportunity.  My family came through where I needed them to, and I’m financially beholden to them now, in addition to the banks.  I doubt that blood will pursue me for favors as a lobbyist would, but, say I were running ….  I don’t know…let’s say…a country…those that had given me money for my house might want to use a bedroom, or a bathroom, or part of the garage from time to time, if they needed it.  And I’d have to agree.

The emotional challenge was something else and much worse.  Like a political party, my memories and emotions were deeply entrenched in the home I had lived in.  My daughter’s childhood flavored the wood walls.  My dogs scratched their ways across the oak floors.  My mother and I enjoyed many an afternoon breathing in the scents of rose and lavender and jasmine from our beautiful garden.  We had a multitude of family gatherings and celebrations around our dining room table.    We shared zucchini and freshly baked muffins with our neighbors, watched their cats and dogs when they needed help with a feeding or a potty break.  My daughter learned to ride a bike on our street.  We ate peaches and apples from our trees.  Knew the best candy at the best houses on Halloween.  Built a community. Shaped my life and my business around my home.

Packing up was painful.  What to toss, what to keep, what to donate.  What furniture was a must keep and what was a do not move?  In the end we tossed about 50 full garbage bags of unusable items (found in every nook and cranny you can imagine), donated about 20 full bags and boxes of items to Vietnam Vets, gave away a piano, washer, dryer and fridge.  I deliberated over so many items and cried many times due to my reluctance to give up my past.

When we walked away from our home for the last time, I thought my heart might break.  My daughter hated me for ripping her away from her home and my mother was definitely a bit wobbly on her feet after, literally, a month of packing and a couple of years of wavering upheaval.

Fast forward, exactly a month later.  I didn’t think about my old home with any sort of regret from the moment I set foot in my new home.  Nor has my mother.  Not one second.  That surprised me more than anything else.  My daughter hated me for a couple of weeks, but is starting to love me (and her new room) again.

Big lesson learned? Much of the furniture I had such angst over keeping (and which is now here) doesn’t match this house in character or style, and I should have donated or sold it without batting an eye.  We took our old memories and let them drift into this new home.  What is really clear is that those old memories really are in the past.  The new home is for new rules, new memories, new celebrations, new budgets, new neighbors, new resources, different and new.

When I ponder the standoff between the two political houses (well, really 3 now with the fractured Republican/Tea party) I see them sitting in their houses, glaring at each other across the aisle (like neighbors fighting over building a shared new fence), holding onto past glories, past doctrine and…basically…the past.

Obama gained traction because he really thought he could effect change, and in our imaginations, we thought he might be able to.  The Tea Party (I don’t agree with their position, but recognize their popularity) gained traction because their supporters really thought they could effect change.  No one expected this level of stalemate, posturing and obstructionism.  Occupy Wall Street is continuing to gain traction, because the people have had it.  The political dysfunction needs to end.  To change a house, all parties really, really need to move from the old house.  Toss out old, carefully choose who they accept favor from (not just go for the money) and create a different house.  New, different, no old furniture.  A new kitchen and see how to make an omelette in a differently configured workspace.  Shore up the infrastructure, fix the electric panel so the house doesn’t fry, forget the fence feud and make friends with the new neighbors, cut down the big tree if the roots are threatening to pull up the entrance to your driveway (cuz you HAVE to be able to go in and out), fix the sprinklers if the grass is dying of thirst, and change the pool water if it hasn’t been emptied in 25 years, cancel DirecTV, Netflix, and landlines, if you need the extra $ to balance the books, buy local and organic to support your new ‘hood and build this new experience from a new perspective.

Hang an old picture in a new spot.  Buy a new picture.

As I ponder all this in my apparent addiction to the news and the messages coming from both parties, I can’t help but think of my own house and  how most Americans survive when revenues fall short and costs climb.

So here’s how most of us do it.

1) We look at our revenues so that we know what is coming in.  In my case, being a small business,  I have seasonal trends and an unstable revenue stream, but I generally know what is coming in and can project what will be coming in based on the economy as it is today.  A huge number of people are on unemployment and that income may be all they have to count on.  Another chunk of the population are working part time or are bringing in virtually no revenue at all.  In the past, Americans counted on increasing their debt load to manage revenue shortfalls in order to pay the bills.  Currently, all those with challenged credit either have no credit cards, lines of credit or any equity to leverage, or have chosen to go the cash only route.

2) We look at our expenses.  From mortgage or rent payments to chocolate chips cookies.  We look at all of it.

3) We figure out what is a must-have and what is a nice-to-have.  For each person those definitions are slightly different, but I think we can agree on shelter, transport, food, education, health care, shoes, clothing (things to cover our otherwise naked bodies), emergency fund.  Everything else can go if money isn’t there to support it.

I’m a single mom.

I must care for my child — have a safe place for her to rest her head at night.  If I had no money for my rent or mortgage, I’d have to move in with friends or family.  If I had no friends or family in LA, I’d have to move to where friends and family were willing to help.

I must have a car in Los Angeles.  In other cities, I could abandon the car.  In LA, not an option.  I don’t need a new car with high payments.  I could have a used car, or even a severely used car as long as it was safe.  If I had to give up the car, I would.  I’d bike, take public transit, change my routine if possible.

We must eat healthy food, she must go to school and we both need shoes and clothes.   We do eat healthy — it costs a bit more, but we also give up buying packaged and preserved foods.  It balances out but we are healthier as a result of good, fresh food.  My daughter goes to public school.  If she were in private school, I’d transfer her to public school in order to make ends meet.  We could both make do with one or two pairs of good shoes and a few changes of clothes.

Medical coverage – If I could continue to afford my medical coverage, it would remain a top priority for this family. If I needed government support, I’d take it.

Austere?  Yes.  But we’d survive in the short term.  In the long term, while we could survive in austerity, we wouldn’t grow.  Because we’d be stuck in poverty.  So I’d have to look at my revenue options.  Ways in which I could earn money.  If my business dried up, I’d look at anything from cleaning peoples homes, to consulting on small business and everything in between, until I figured out a way to bring in sufficient revenues to climb out of the hole.

Does that ring true to you?

Wouldn’t you like to see all our politicians live on unemployment for a year and see how they’d do?  What would they do?  Where would they cut and how would they find ways to bring in additional revenues while cost-cutting.  At some point they’ll remember what life for most Americans is.  And maybe at that point they’d understand how to balance out the country’s budgeting woes, stop catering to the top percentage of the uber-rich who will continue to earn tremendous amounts of money as they swoop in and buy bargain price stocks yet again.  You can cut costs all you want, but in a recession/depression/shrinking world economy/double triple dippity-doo, KNOWING that your tax revenues will falter, you have to look at where to possibly bring in more tax revenues and from those that are hurting the LEAST, not suffering the most.  In your own house, you would NEVER say you wouldn’t look at ways to bring in more revenue.  That’s shooting yourself and your family through your two pairs of shoes.

There is so little that I, as an individual, can control.  I’m not a lobbyist, a political mover and shaker, or even a major opinion influencer.  I try to advocate on behalf of Boomers and beyond.  I write about what I see from my unique perspective as a Canadian expat.  My sense of social consciousness tears me apart as, at the same time, I am able to function as an entrepreneur in the hungriest consumer market in the world.  I think about best choices for my child and worry about her future.  Cook my own food, try to stay purist in buying organic and local.  Take political action as I have the power to, write to politicians and bureaucrats knowing that I am just another number that gets standardized letters of response.  I donate money to worthy causes and for disaster relief, even though my own coffers are tighter, as a small business entrepreneur.

So to combat these overwhelming feelings of powerlessness, I look long and hard (and just about every day) to what I can control, rather than drowning in what I can’t control. 

Which brings me to today.  Today, as I waited for 15 minutes in line at the Costco gas pumps to save $0.15/gallon, my van (a necessity in my pet service business) stood next to a Prius, both of them drinking the expensive brew.  The Prius’ owner (a well-groomed, attractive man in a jogging suit) and I started a conversation.  I told him my tank cost $92.  He looked at me wide-eyed and told me he’d barely reach $36 AND he’d be able to go about 500 miles without a refill.  I’ll go about 400 miles on my $92.  And then he said something that got me. 

I don’t care how much gas prices go up, now…not with this car.  Not even if gas goes to $10/gallon.

Ayay.  At $10/gallon, I’d never be able to fill my tank in one sitting.  I’d have to drastically change all my routing (even though I’m extremely well-routed now.)  So it gave me a good think…about what I can control.  I bought my 2007  Buick Terraza in Januray 2008…and sadly, it is a lemon.  The warranty is about to expire and at this point, GM has spent more money on repairing my car and covering my car rentals while the car has been in the shop than what I paid for it.  Because of its age, it isn’t worth it to try and pursue lemon law legal relief (although I should have much earlier on.)

I still owe for the 0% loan that I took out on the vehicle and, this morning, looking at the beaming, shining, happy face of that Prius owner, I decided that I am selling my van.  He LOVED his vehicle.  I TOLERATE mine.  Big difference. 

Now comes the dilemma.  With the horrible crisis and shortage of car parts from Japan, do I go for a Honda or a Toyota?  Or do I stick with American and take my chances, again, with a higher mileage American made vehicle.  I know a few of you would have strong opinions.  I’m still in need of some sort of utility vehicle (like a Honda CRV, Subaru Forrester), and I like my little accessory luxuries, although I’m willing to do without for the sake of better gas mileage. 

What would you do in my shoes? If you have an opinion or recommendation, I’d love to hear it (even better if you are a lawyer!! or a mechanic!!! or Marine engineer!)  I’ll be making the switch within the next couple of months.  You can post your comment, or email me at wspiegel@genplusua.com

Early this morning, about 200 parents, students, teachers & staff rallied for public support against the draconian budget cuts looming over California public schools.

About 200 parents, students & teachers protest extreme budget cuts in front of Balboa Magnet School in Northridge, California.

In addition to those job seekers, applicants will find me through my website (this is for my pet services business) and apply online. The resourceful ones call, and others get in touch through word of mouth referrals.

This morning I was set up to interview a woman who tracked me down through a business colleague who thought she might be a good fit for my company.  We had a lovely phone conversation, she seemed eager and enthusiastic, so I agreed.

Twenty minutes past our interview slot…no call, no email, nothing. As a courtesy to my colleague, I called the jobseeker and got her answering machine. FYI, even if she calls back, I won’t be considering her because meeting about the job wasn’t important enough to her.

She had a foot in the door and blew it.  This is the wrong economy for serious missteps. 

End of the story? After getting my message she called to apologize.

Wait for it….her dog ate her calendar and she couldn’t find my number to call me earlier… Lol… Oh yes, she did.

Finally I was able to take some time today and start to give form to some of the thoughts and now, I’m verging on the edge of Charlie Sheen-esque verbal diarrhea (feel free to make comments about prior post today on Black Bean Brownies  ). 

With the multiple crises cascading on each other’s back across the Middle East,  to my Western eyes, it feels like watching a tidal wave — a human tsunami–of radical change. The thing that has caught my attention more than any other world crisis is the way that the changes in our modes of communication have helped to mobilize or galvanize these actions.

The US political machine was caught of guard when Barack Obama effectively used internet communication to deliver his message of change and reach the youth population in a way that had not been done before.  Again, in Egypt, internet was shut off in hopes of staving off Egyptian revolt (which only fueled the fires further).  In Tunesia, Libya, and the surrounding countries that are all having their foundations shaken, we are seeing first-hand, through cell phone communications, videos of what is happening on the streets of these countries, taken, not by journalists, but by citizens.   Cell phones have reshaped communications so that even a Libyan family is shut away in their home can call (when they have signal) to a relative in another country for information, or get on the internet and see what the world, and the US in particular, is saying and doing to help with the instability.

Journalists have unparalleled access, like CNN Ben Wedeman’s report on Libyan planes bombing their own people this morning.

How can the world stay the same when the dark ages are no longer dark?  It cannot.  Every human is born with certain instinctive truths.  Humans need their connections.  Humans need freedom.  Humans need communication.  The tiny little handheld we hold so casually in our Western hands, is literally seeding collective desire for forging freedom and changing bonds in countries, where tribal affiliation rules and where they have been forced to stay in the dark for a long time.

Usually at the start of a new year, I’m filled with optimism and energy and positive thoughts about the goals I’ve set and how I’ll accomplish them in the year ahead.  Since early 2005, I’ve posted consistently, several times a week, to several times a day, depending on how my mood struck me.  For the past few months, it has felt like a bit of a chore to drum up my energies and talk to you about what I find relevant, especially when there are truly tragic events like the school board shooting last month and the Arizona shooting this past week.

It’s no secret that I love talking about branding, rebranding, using social media to good networking effect, and how those of us who are baby boomers and beyond can reshape, rechunk, and reclassify ourselves to find meaningful ways to earn money once we’ve been downsized, resized and made irrelevant in corporate circles.  It shouldn’t be a surpise that I love delving into politics and sustainable energy and there is always lots to talk about there.  But, heck, I’m tired. 

The past few years I’ve actually avoided talking about how a 50 plusser can find work after 50 because it has been really tough.  The monthly labor bureau reports are overwhelmingly bad, making the job market a pessimistic place to hang out unless, as a writer, you like to wallow in doom and gloom. 

This next year is going to be another super tough year for most.  Flat is the new up for most small business owners.  While I see movement at the ground level in my service business (I run a successful pet care services company –I’ve been able to weather the worst of the bad economy and am experiencing growth again, which is great), it is a slow and painful movement upward.  I’m still getting so many emails from you wondering how the heck, after another year of unemployment, to get someone to open the door for you, how to take your existing skills and translate it into money, how to use social media, how to build a business. 

It is challenging as a 50 plusser to muster the energy of a 20 year old to start from zero and move up and it requires using all of one’s ingenuity and skill set to counterbalance for the enthusiastic zeal of youthfulness…if you are like me, then you are tired just reading this.    

I’ve made a few decisions.  The first is that I’m taking a hiatus from the Blogging Boomers Carnival, of which I’ve taken part for the past 3 years.  I’d encourage you to keep reading the efforts of these fine bloggers.  You can catch up with them anytime by going to the Blogging Boomers Category in my archives.

The other decision I’ve made is to keep writing.  I toyed with putting the Gen Plus blog on hold for awhile, which is a tough thing to ponder, since so much of my life is in the thousands of pages I’ve published through the blog.  In fact, it has kind of taken on an organic life of its own.  

I can’t stop writing when we have a massacre like that in Arizona, when so many people are killed and injured on our own soil, and when 2 brave citizens jump on the gunman to stop him, because they know they must.  So my moan-fest is long over.  I’ll continue to say what I think I should, regardless of whether or not you like my perspective.

And as always, I appreciate your emails and comments – they are what keep me motivated when I feel quite alone in the world of blog.

Onto the muddled state I find myself in…all thoughts, comments, yeahs or nays welcome.

Thought #1: Health care.  I am one of the self-employed corralled into an individual health plan and therefore subject to limits based on what I’ve been able to afford to buy into.  You’ve heard me complain about the cost of my premium, but what I forgot to mention (some of you emailed that your own plans were more costly) is that I’m on what is called a 40/60 plan with no limit on the deductible and no preventive coverage, and a $40/visit co-pay.  So if I go to the doctor 10 times in the year (let’s say I had been injured, or got whooping cough), that is $400 for my co-pays, plus 40% of each visit.  If I were hospitalized and the bill is a mere $10k, I’m on the hook for $4k, etc.  So here is where I’m a bit confounded right now.  We are all aware that there is a pertussis (whooping cough) epidemic in California.  I’ve received emails and voicemails from LAUSD reminding me to innoculate my daughter with the tDAP vaccine.  Because the vaccine is considered preventive care, it is not covered by my plan.  It will cost me $85 – $90 each for my child and I to be innoculated. 

I’m on a search for the free vaccine, however most free or low cost clinics listed through LA city insist on a full medical exam for each of us prior to the exam, even though we both have regular doctors.  The cost for the exams will be the same, if not more, than the cost of shot.  So, it will cost me about $170 for the shots, which I plan on paying for.  Money is tight for everyone…so let’s say that I didn’t get the innoculations.  If I caught whooping cough, aside from potentially dying, wouldn’t the costs for my health care be a whole lot higher than $170?  I’m just saying….

Thought #2: Oh my gawd!  Watching the lead up to the Nov. 2nd elections is PAINFUL.  Painful.  Worse than listening to fingernails scratching against blackboard (those days are long gone…only whiteboards and dry erase markers now…) is watching the sound byte lies permeating the ads on both sides of the aisle.  However, since the GOP is spending a bit more on their ads, they seem to be even more out there in the “let me lie, but call it marketing” campaigns. 

One of my faves is the Christine O’Donnell “I am not a witch” ad.  Dressed in somber colors, lit up like a ghoul against a dark blue backdrop, with a bizarrely haunting piano track, I swear I can see ghosts floating around behind her. 

Another fave for sheer idiocy is the anti-Meg Pinnocchio nose-growing ad.  I can’t stand Whitman, but seriously…this ad is laughable. 

But my absolute favorite ad (this time for sheer brilliance) is again, a Jerry Brown sponsored anti-Meg Whitman ad, juxtaposing her sound bytes against Arnold’s bytes from his first campaign.  Yup…same words.  I’m sure she’s had a conversation or two with her campaign manager and speech writers about it.  Enjoy.

Thought #3:  Self-esteem.  Have you noticed everyone is suffering a bit at the self-esteem front?  Could it be because 41% (or just about) of the employable workforce is unemployed?  Do you keep hearing people say “well…with 10% of America unemployed 90% are working”.  False.  Untrue.  Bad math.   There are about 300 million Americans.  You have to take out the retired (forceably or otherwise) and children and other non-working family members as well as those in “institutional” roles…i.e. non general population workforce.  Then there are also those who have given up looking for work (about 2 million). Then look at the numbers in the perspective of the American non-institutional workforce.  You get a true employment to population ratio is 58.5%.  How many of those in America who CAN work are in fact, working.   Here is the report…if you head down to the bar graph at the bottom of the report it is easier to figure out.  (Look for 58.5% and you’ll see how the labor metrics work.)  So 14.8 million are unemployed out of a potential pool of 150M civilian laborers.  That’s how it shakes out.