Gen Plus » Funny Stuff

Battling the squirrels

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Wed, 26 May 2010 18:28:04 +0000

My garden includes flowering plants and many fruit trees. Right now the nectarines are ripening, which means that the squirrels will start their annual fight with me. They try to eat up all my nectarines before they are big enough to ripen off the tree and I try to chase them away (with the help of Daisy the Wonderdog and the occasional help of Roxie the Beautiful) long enough to get a couple of dozen fruit from my tree. Now that I’m even more invested in locally grown and organic produce, every nectarine won is a triumph over the mulitnational conglommerates that ruin run our food chain. The squirrels are creatures of nature and just doing their thing, but they don’t seem to understand my mission. I’m happy for them to take a nectarine…if they would eat the darn thing. But they take a fruit, take a bite and drop it back in my garden. Daisy and I have tried to re-educate them. Daisy by barking at them viciously with an orange ball in her mouth, and me by running outside and glaring at them. (That doesn’t work, by the way.)

I’ve tried tying moth balls in pantyhose and dangling them from branches. Doesn’t work. Dangling pie-plates from branches. Doesn’t work. Wrapping the trees in mesh. Only works if you seal every possible gap with plastic ties.

I need to reframe my view of squirrels for you. When I was a little girl, growing up in Montreal, I LOVED squirrels. Thought they were the cutest things ever with their little bushy tails. They were mostly grey and some were brown. Moving to Toronto in 1982, I encountered, for the first time in my life, black squirrels. Strange looking, but I got used to them, too. My grandmother, however, did not. She was convinced they were rats with bushy tails. She had never liked them in Montreal, but now, in Toronto, the black squirrels were evil rats, ready to pounce on her. She would NOT take a walk in the park and would only gingerly venture into my mother’s spacious garden, backing onto a stunning park. Sadly, the image of bushy-tailed rats ready to jump on one’s head, is what has stuck with me. So my battle with the squirrels, is a battle with rats.

Darn it. That fat grey rat with the super-bushy tail just grabbed another nectarine. That’s MY organic produce! Gotta go and chase it away with my big orange fruit-picking pole (doesn’t work, but makes me feel better.)

Happy Birthday Hans!

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 13:36:10 +0000

Just loving Google this week. Today they have an illustrated tribute to Hans Christian Anderson. Make sure to click the teeny arrow at bottom right of the illustrated Google!

Have you got your April Fool’s hat on? Google…um…Topeka does!

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 14:14:14 +0000

If you’ve headed over to your Google page this morning, you’re in for a fun surprise. Google has come up with the ultimate April Fool’s joke (resonating over to Gmail, and likely other google apps.) Grab your coffee, head over to google and read all about their “new” name…and then do your Topeka search!

As for me, I’m moving away from looking at career issues and anything relevant to Boomers and 50 Plus. I’m going to start exploring music of the 30′s, 40′s and 50′s (because that is really a great way to attract more readers), and strong focus on the sexual inclinations of men in the 18-34 demographic (because that doesn’t attract any traffic at all.)

Happy April Fools.

January 10, 2010

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 15:41:16 +0000

Today is 011010 — I like the binary code appeal of the date. Switch on. Switch off. We have a base 10 system, 10 fingers and toes. We like $10 bills and $100 bills. Appreciate decades and centuries. Ten Commandments. I’m sure there is some meaning to the numerology of today, so if you are a numerologist or kabbalist and have some insights, feel free to share. On top of the actual date, today is a Sunday which is the start or the end of the week depending on how you look at your calendar. If you are a coding expert, love to hear what you think 01/10/10 stands for.

…and here’s a blast from the past

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:21:27 +0000

An old (well…longtime) high school friend noted on his Facebook that he was selling off his Get Smart collectibles. Of course, that sent me on a frenzied google and bing search for Get Smart collectibles. Here’s the site: http://www.wouldyoubelieve.com/collect.html The prices some of these items can fetch is worthy of note…but the chuckles you’ll get when you see the toys we bought, and the memories of that wonderful show? Priceless.

How old will I be…really?

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:46:45 +0000

Love this — my sister just sent me this viral email with a virtual life expectancy calculator. Have fun — and who knows how right it might be? I discovered, according to this, that I’ll live til 90 and have 14,800 days left on the planet. Works for me. Ummm…if you are 89, I wouldn’t suggest taking it. You might find out you are already dead! Oops.

The 411 on the 311: Doing Business in Los Angeles

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:59:46 +0000

Have you ever called 311 in LA? 311 is the main line number to connect with Los Angeles City Hall. In our city, the voice message is that of Mayor Antonio Villaragosa and he cheerfully invites you to take advantage of the many services available to you through the city government. And even better, while you are on hold, our Mayor advises you that while you wait, you’ll be treated to a selection of music played by the LA Philharmonic, LA Chorale, and LA Chamber Orchestra. I’ve never had a more peaceful time sitting on hold for the next available agent!

A bit of tongue in cheek outsourcing.

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Tue, 05 May 2009 01:43:57 +0000

Enjoy this very funny skewering of outsourcing by The Onion.

I’m going to have to earn money til I’m 95…

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 00:27:00 +0000

I just had an epiphany as a result of today’s Wall Street meltdown. I may have to change my focus. I’ve been spending years writing about Boomers and 50 Plussers to help express our voice and to creatively find ways for us to continue to secure meaningful employment as we hit the “50″ benchmark for downsizing.

But, today, as Lehman Brothers went under and Merrill Lynch found new parents, and as 21st century, now under AIG and soon to be someone new, flounders….and as I’m just sitting here watching my portfolio plummet and wondering how many years until the rebound, I have to ask myself some obvious questions. How long will I really have to work until? My 70′s? My 80′s? My 90′s?

I’m thinking (and let me know if you think I’m really wrong here), as I sit and watch 70-somethings working to make a few additional dollars, that I’ll be working, whether I like it or not, into my late 70′s, early 80′s and possibly longer if anyone will have me.

So, I’m looking for a way to extend my writing career and may have to change the name of my blog to go along with it. How about “Gen Plus Plus — Finding Work at 80 Plus”. Has a nice ring to it, I think. And it ensures I’ll have something to keep writing about for the next 30 years or so…wonder what Tina Fey would say?

A bit of brilliance for Online Shopping

Janet Wendy Spiegel — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 16:52:00 +0000

If you have never had your own virtual online model to “try” clothes on for you at an online retailer, then you cannot miss this. My Virtual Model brings you a fun, easy way to create, not only a fairly realistic personal model, but allows you to try on clothes from a good spectrum of online retailers (H&M, Land’s End, Gap, Adidas, etc.)

A gentle way to discover that…uh…nope…that bathing suit? Not such a good choice. Or WOW, would I look fantastic in THAT! Guaranteed to lower online returns, and at the same time, lets you see yourself in 360 degree format without having to sweat it up in a changing room. Can you lie to yourself? Sure you can…but what for? Might as well see what you really look like in that tankini.